how do I simplify my life

 Practice tip -- how to simplify your life.   (newsletter 29, June 2012)

  

Question

 

I wondered if you would ever consider writing on the subject of "how to simplify your life"? I'm thinking of how to use dharma teaching as a way to interact with our daily world -- such as suggestions on how to limit the amount of stuff, engagements, technological distractions, just to name a few.  

 

Response

It's a matter of inclusion and exclusion, what you include in your life, and what you exclude. 

If you have trouble deciding, you aren't clear about your priorities. If you try to simplify your life before you are clear about your priorities, you usually end up in a mess. Different agendas come into conflict and without an overall vision or direction, you can't make the necessary decisions.

Think of the proverbial starving musician. She knows what is important in her life. She's willing to put up with bad bar gigs and difficult audiences so she can write, play and sing her own songs. Yes, she certainly hopes to win a following, but it's the music that is important to her, and that's that. Music comes first, and as long as she is able to eat and find a place to sleep, she's more than okay with that.

And then there is the young attorney or MBA. He's equally clear about his priorities. Money heads the list. He endures brutal workloads, long hours, demanding and unsympathetic bosses, time away from his wife and children, all to realize his dreams of being rich. You may not agree with his choices, but he knows exactly what to include and exclude.

How do you use dharma teachings as a way to interact with your daily world? Very carefully. 

Buddhist practice, like art, like business, has its own set of priorities and one is to be free of distractions. If you are going to probe what is beyond thought, it's helpful to have less to think about. And that translates directly into a simplified life with relatively few decisions that have to be made.

Do you really want to reduce the number of decisions you have to make each day?

Then the first practice is reflection on change and death. Why? It leads you to reorder your priorities from top to bottom so that you doradically simplify your life and, as a consequence, have much less to think about.

It's a straightforward practice, but not that easy. It consists of taking in two facts that you already know.

You know you are going to die. And you know you don't know when. 

Imagine you are going to die in ten years. Ten years from today, the lights go out in your world. What would you do with you life? 

Now imagine you are going to die in one year. What would you do? 

And imagine you are going to die in one month. How would you spend that month?

These are not gentle questions, but they do serve a purpose. They give you a pretty good idea of what's important to you in your life. 

Now go further. You do not know, and cannot know, when you are going to die. What happens to conventional notions of success - happiness, gain, fame or respect? These are important to most people. For many, they form the basis of their lives. 

What about you? How important are happiness, gain, fame and respect to you? Or are you looking for a deeper connection with life itself? 

Think about this. You won't be able to simplify your life until you are clear here.

You are going to die and you don't know when. How do you live in this paradox? There is only one way. Dowhat life calls for now because life calls for it, not because you hope to enjoy the results. Whether its planting a garden, going to school, saving money, building a career, time with friends, a political campaign, a vacation or hobby, you engage it because it is your life calls for it. Forget about being around for the results of your efforts. You have no idea whether you will be or not.

Now you have much less to think about, no?

In letting go of hopes (and fears), you become clearer about what is important and what is not and that makes it much easier to let go of (i.e., exclude) other considerations. 

Stuff? What do you really need in order to pursue what is vitally important to you? 

Engagements? Friends, associates, activities, there is no end to what you can do. Time is one major factor, and energy a second. 

Technological distractions? What use do you have for email, Facebook, an iPad, a car, a refrigerator, or a book? These are all forms of technology, some older than others. For any technology, consider if and how it is useful to you.

Reflection on change isn't the only approach to simplification. There are others, of course. 

In Mahayana Buddhism, it is the ideal of compassion. Compassion, and the cultivation of compassion, inform your every thought and action. This naturally leads to the practice of awakening mind (bodhicitta). 

For others, it is awe, a sense of being intimately connected with something that is infinitely greater or deeper than you. This leads to a path based in faith and devotion.

A little practical advice. Before you start to simplify, tighten up your life a little. Organize your day a bit better and pay more attention to time. As an example, arrive at appointments and meetings on time and end them on time. You soon find that you have more time - to consider the questions suggested above, to reflect on what is vital, important and meaningful to you, to decide what to cultivate and what to let go. 

Once you are clear about that, everything else follows.